fuck formalist literary theory. like hell an author’s life doesn’t influence his/her writing.
my mind’s been whirlwind of camus and kenan lately. camus, because he reminds me so much of a first gen kid -like the kid of immigrants. lost in his identity. he feels ties to algeria, but at the same time.. he’s french. and that struggle is so damn visible in his short stories and novels. writing was his way of coping with it.
then kenan, who fought in one of the israeli/palestine wars (either 48 or the one in the 60s) and was an activist for a hebrew state and acknowledged palestine and the atrocities that had been committed against them. interviews about his time in the war are so vague and it sounds like he might’ve done something that he really regretted, something that haunted him. writing was his way of coping with the past. he told mahmoud the arab that he [the arab] had lost before he was born. he couldn’t fight the israelis for freedom because freedom didn’t exist. and kenan knows he contributed to the system he hated so much; it’s his fault just as much as any other military-prone israeli.
Only 80 pages into l’etranger, but there was a beautiful scene written about meursault and marie during a beach trip. my heart ached, it was a pyaari moment.
Various Clouds, by Vincent Van Gogh.
It’s not never again to Jews. It’s never again to anyone.
In a perpetual good mood ‘cos of FYF. I’ll be staying + going with a friend I haven’t seen since France and she is the bestt. I think this will be 1,000 better than Coachella.
Friends from France have been keeping in touch and it’s really sweet to hear about what they’re up to now.
I think I want too much from life? I want to go back to France/other countries and work abroad for awhile. I found a website that hooks up people with jobs/internships abroad. I’ve been reading Camus’ L’Etranger and I think that’s influencing my decision, too. However, nothing can happen without me finding a job in the Bay first to pay off loans and despite hella resumes sent out, I’m still without a job. Also, I wanna do that typical thing and move to NYC for a little while, too.. I’m a walking cliché.